Dr. Ruth Westheimer on Author’s Night: Sex Talk in Brief

Dr. Ruth Westheimer, now 92, gets hot and heavy talking about sex. This year’s Author’s Night being different from all others, her talk was on Zoom, no touching allowed. Which does not mean it was phone sex, or phoned in. One of the joys of listening to the pint-sized therapist who loves to boast that her grandkids are taller than she is, is hearing her say the words vagina and penis with aplomb, whether or not the discussion calls for it. That’s part of her schtick, getting people used to the vocabulary, and the action. This year she is celebrating a reissue of her Heavenly Sex, dispensing the wisdom of the sages on her subject. “In the Jewish tradition,” she says, “sex is an obligation between husband and wife,” especially on Friday night, the beginning of the Sabbath. The sages were the best at sex therapy, she opines, because they suggested the man say to his wife, you are the best, an effective aphrodisiac. A husband can enter the vagina from behind, leaving the clitoris for stimulation. Good to know.

Dr. Ruth was officially interviewed by Dennis Fabiszak of the East Hampton Library: the annual event is a benefit to that institution. To keep it all intimate, each sold out session, with such popular authors as Robert Caro and Harlen Coben, as well as comedian Mike Birbiglia and the mother-daughter authors Julie Andrews and Emma Walton Hamilton, was limited to 25. For Dr. Ruth’s audience, hosted by Patti Kenner, the author weighed in on the pandemic-ready topic of loneliness: Meeting someone at this particular time is a challenge. Dr. Ruth recommends, come to the East Hampton library, when it opens, a safe, public place. Read a good book and plan to talk to someone about it.

And she reiterated other talking points: There’s no such thing as a G-spot. Don’t be shy. The dire circumstances of her becoming an orphan during the Holocaust, when her parents sent her away on a train to safety in Switzerland, one of 300 such rescues, was an inspiration; she says, “I knew I had to make something of my life because I survived.” As to sex for people over 60, “Do it in the morning.”

She might have intoned the Passover prayer: Next year in Jerusalem, although she would like the pandemic to end so she can receive her honorary doctorate from Ben Gurion University, but on this occasion, she repeated at least 3 times, “Next year in East Hampton, at Patti Kenner’s house for dinner!” Amen to that!